Why Should I be Nice?
For some, hospitality just comes naturally. It becomes an extension of yourself just like if you had an extra set of hands. You welcome each and every person into your life and treat them like an honored guest or family member and craft unique experiences for them – because in the end, that’s all of our goals as professionals in this field. We want everyone to feel that warm and bubbly feeling when they join us. Not everyone is like that and that’s perfectly okay!
We’ve all had employers in the past who tell us to “Check my feelings at the door”, “Just act like everything’s okay”, or “You should really smile more, you’ll make more money.” Are they wrong? Not necessarily - but only from their perspective. It’s their job to make sure that the business is making the most amount of money and that guests are having a great time. Unhappy employees can equate to unhappy guests in their eyes. I’m going to jump right to the point here and why I think this issues is so important– not everyone is okay all of the time! Sometimes, no matter what you do, it is utterly impossible to check that baggage that you’re carrying at the door. Sometimes life is really hard and it’s not possible to put on that happy face everyone wants you to have.
What your managers, bosses, and owners should be saying is “What’s going on with you today?”, “I noticed that you’re upset, is there anything I can do to help?”, or even “Do you need some time or to take a moment before your shift starts?” In the work place, a positive work culture starts with positive attitudes, respect for co-workers and one another, and the ability to set boundaries based on realistic expectations. Those are all individual issues to unpack at another time, but that doesn’t make them any less real or less important.
So, if the world is pretty awful and you’re having a bad day/week/month/year, why should you be nice and how do you make yourself feel like embracing hospitality? Simple answer – don’t push yourself into doing things that you don’t feel like doing. That’s really the moral of the story on that one. And, if you’re continually feeling those negative feelings, then I would strongly suggest seeking someone sort of professional help (you can find links on our website for ways to find access to mental/physical help!). Outside of that, below are a few of the tricks that I’ve found help me out when I’m not really feeling like dealing with people or giving them the amount of hospitality that I would like to or that they deserve.
Tips and Tricks
Take a minute to yourself before clocking-in for the day. Whether that moment is a short walk, grabbing a cup of coffee, rocking out to music on your headphones, anything at all! Those little moments are few and far between during a busy shift so do yourself a favor and make time for yourself when you can control it.
Find something to look forward to after your shift. It doesn’t have be anything big! It can be having an awesome meal, to putting on comfy clothes, or even watching your favorite tv show. Keeping those rewards in sight helps to get through the bad stuff.
Every great experience that I’ve ever had going out to eat and/or drink has started with someone smiling and saying hello to me. If you know you’re having or going to have a hard time talking to guests during your shift, start with something small to make them feel welcome and then the tone of your interactions with them over the course of their visit is typically way more positive than anything else.
Check-in with someone that you trust that you work with. Let them know how you’re feeling. Knowing that someone has your back if things get tough can be a huge help!
Be honest with guests. If they’re being aggressive about talking to you or even talking about things you’re uncomfortable with – tell them! (Respectfully of course). You’re a human too and you are fully entitled to the same rights that they are!
Finally, and I wish someone else had told me this sooner, a job is a job. It’s not your sense of worth, sense of self, or anything else. You are not defined by your job. Take a second to think about that and reframe your focus of what’s going on around you.
